


I’m Your Secret Santa

by Dolavine



Category: J2 - Fandom
Genre: J2 Au RPs, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-19
Updated: 2011-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-27 14:06:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/296665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dolavine/pseuds/Dolavine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is a secret Santa on the set of SPN, Jared and Jensen draw each other in the pool and there is some fun with Misha too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I’m Your Secret Santa

_**I'm your Secret Santa/J2/G for Schmoop**_  
 **Title:** I’m Your Secret Santa  
 **Authro:** Dolavine  
 **Pairing:** Jensen and Jared  
 **Genre:** RPS AU  
 **Rating:** G/Schmoop  
 **Word Count:** 2,730  
 **Disclaimer:** I own nothing.  
 **Summary:** There is a secret Santa on the set of SPN, Jared and Jensen draw each other in the pool and there is some fun with Misha too.  
 **A/N:** For [](http://dephigravity.livejournal.com/profile)[**dephigravity**](http://dephigravity.livejournal.com/) for the gift post. Merry Christmas. Thanks to [](http://memoonster.livejournal.com/profile)[**memoonster**](http://memoonster.livejournal.com/) for the beta.

  


  
  


  


It’s Secret Santa sign up day on set so the cast and crew put their names into the tumbling barrel; Jared tries to sneak more than one slip into the barrel but Ben catches him and makes him submit only one.

“Dude, more presents for me,” he starts to laugh and Ben shakes his head no.

Jensen walks over with a plate of cookies and Jared smells vanilla immediately. “Got any sugar cookies on there,” he asks, eyeballing the plate.

“Sure,” Jensen says taking one off of the top and handing it to Jared. It’s a reindeer with very large antlers that have been painted brown and he’s wearing a flannel shirt.

“Nice, did you decorate this one just for me,” he bites the antlers off in one chomp.

“No, the crafts people made them; there is a whole plate of Dean’s, Bobby’s and Sam’s up there. Of course you’re a moose,” he chuckles.

“Nice,” he says with a mouth full of cookie.

“So did you put your name multiple times into the barrel,” Jensen asks.

“No, Ben caught me,” he steals another cookie from the plate.

“You know you’re a big kid don’t you,” he gives Jared a kiss on the cheek as he walks away with the plate of cookies.

“Hey, cookies,” Jared says following him back to set.

Its 3am when the final scene is shot, that beautiful bell rings for the last time and everyone is congratulating everyone else on a good shoot when they call out to gather around for the Secret Santa drawing.

Jared makes sure he’s in the front row. He’s like a little kid waiting for his person’s name. He really wants Misha because he has an idea for the best gag gift for him. He rubs his hands together as they tumble the barrel. There are over 35 names in that barrel and Jared is the third person in line to draw one, he wants Misha, he’s actually chanting it in his head as he follows two other crew members up to the barrel.

They give the barrel a tumble and open the hatch as he walks up, he sticks his hand inside, closes his eyes and wills Misha’s name into his fingers. He doesn’t open it just goes back into the crowd and waits for Jensen to pull out a name too.

Reaching in Jensen has no expectation of who he’ll get. He pulls the name and walks over to Jared who is waiting anxiously to see who he got. They always open their names together, it’s like a thing they’ve done since the first Secret Santa in season 2.

“Okay, ready,” Jared says twitching his paper between his fingers with excitement.

“Ready,” Jensen says readying his hands to open on 3.

“1…2….3” They open their papers simultaneously.

Jared’s says **Jensen,** he looks at it and then quickly folds it back up.

Jensen’s says, **Jared,** he almost can’t contain his laughter.

“So who’d you get,” Jared asks first.

“Um, Sera,” his eyes shift across the room to settle on her. “And you?”

“Oh,” Jared scrunches up his face. “Misha.”

“But I thought you wanted Misha? You’re gonna buy him that talking dildo thing we saw at Crystal’s and record your voice saying lewd things for when he uses it?”

“Oh yeah, I’m stoked to do that,” Jared starts to laugh and looks over at Misha who is looking back at him.

He suddenly gets a look of dread on his face and starts over towards Jared. “You picked my name didn’t you Padalecki,” he never breaks his determined blue eyed stare.

“What, huh, no, not me,” Jared stammers and looks around before starting to whistle.

“Good,” Misha says before dramatically walking away, Castiel’s trench coat billowing behind him like an evil villain’s cape.

They both start to giggle. “I swear he’s like your arch nemesis,” Jensen shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

“Nah, you know I like Misha, he’s just so much fun to play with,” Jared laughs and tucks his piece of paper into his pocket for safe keeping.

 **Everyone remember to keep it to twenty dollars or under, okay have fun.**

It’s their two days off before they start the last week of shooting before Christmas break. Jared is lounging on the sofa eating a bowl of Candy Cane Ice Cream while Jensen puts the finishing touches on the Christmas tree.

Jensen flops down next to Jared on the sofa and opens his mouth like a baby bird; Jared shoves a spoonful of Ice Cream into it. “So what are you doing later?” he asks him.

There’s ice cream on Jared’s chin and he’s fascinated with A Very Spongebob Christmas. “I don’t know,” he says mindlessly.

“I’m going shopping, I need to finish my gift list,” he steals another bit of ice cream from the spoon.

“Yeah I should finish up too,” Jared says stealing a peppermint flavored kiss. “Want to go together?”

“Um, yeah sure,” Jensen says figuring out how he’s going to get free of Jared to buy his gifts including his Secret Santa gift.

“Cool,” Jared doesn’t even give a thought to needing to buy Jensen’s Secret Santa gift since he’s already gotten his actual Christmas gift.

A few hours later and one almost parking disaster mixed with mild road rage in the parking lot they’re inside the Mall.

Jensen hates Christmas shopping; well he hates most shopping that entails a trip to the mall. Poorly constructed remixed music is piped through speakers, the smell of the food court and the endless crowds put him in a bad mood.

Jensen is staring at a storefront window dressing when Jared shoves an orange cup filled with frothy frosty goodness in his face. “Got you an Orange Julius,” he says sucking on his own extra large sized cup.

The one thing that makes coming to the shopping hell all worth the effort. “Thank you babe,” it’s like he’s been handed a reprieve from all of it.

“You’re welcome,” Jared’s smiling from ear to ear with the straw clenched between his teeth.

They’ve been to several stores and Jensen has bought things for Mackenzie and Josh then for Jeff and Megan too. He has several big bags that he hands off to Jared to carry since he hasn’t bought anything.

Now its time for Jared’s gifts, he has to figure out a way to lose Jared for some sneaky shopping. “Hey babe, don’t you have some things you want to buy?”

Jared looks around thinking about it and then it hits him, Jensen’s Santa gift. “Yeah, I do,” he says passing the big bags off to Jensen. “Meet you at the food court in an hour,” he gives Jensen a peck on the cheek before running off.

Jensen goes through his list of things he has for Jared quite quickly, a new watch, three university hoodies, and a three pound bag of rope candy. Now for the Santa gift.

He’s strolling along looking at all of the booths set up in the center of the mall with holiday wares. He’s sure Jared wouldn’t want giant hand painted pictures of Indians or cowboys, no matter how Texan he is. No pewter wizards or hand blown glass trinkets. He quickly vetoes handmade candles and potpourri, even if he is domestically gay. He lingers at the microwavable as seen on TV slippers with free snuggie but decides against it once he learns that one size fits most, doesn’t include moose sizes.

He is quickly running out of shops and still no gift. He’s a bit disheartened. He looks at the personalized beanies and ball caps but too cheesy so he moves on. The baked goods table seems like a good idea but he’s already sugar high on cookies and that damned candy cane ice cream, next booth.

There are four more booths to go and then its on to the actual shops. He’s looking at cheap knock off colognes and pleather wallets when a woman grabs his hand and starts to rub lotion into it. Jensen yanks his hand back. “What the Fuck,” he says it loud enough that he catches the attention of the clerk who is showing products to customers and she gives him a dark glare.

The woman looks startled but picks up her script without hesitation. “Soft hands for your wife, beautiful manicured nails and all for a low price if you do it yourself at home,” She shows Jensen a box containing nail grooming items.

“No thanks,” he says and moves on to the next booth.

There are silver and gold items hanging on black felt. Ornaments and medallions all inscribed with names or phrases. He looks at the name on the booth, it’s Things Remembered. He looks through their wares and finds a medallion shaped like a movie camera that is inscribed you are a Star. He loves it and motions for the clerk.

He points to the item. “This.”

The man pulls one out of the case and shows it to Jensen. “What would you like it say sir,” he asks.

“No, I want this one,” he points to the one with the inscription.

“This is the same one; you just have to have something written on it.”

“Oh, well then make it say what this one says. You are a star.”

The man smiles and takes it to the back of the booth where he inscribes it while Jensen waits.

He brings it out and shows it to Jensen. “Is this what you wanted?”

“Perfect.”

“That will be nineteen dollars. Free Box and gift wrap?”

“Absolutely,” he says paying the man.

The man hands the gift over to Jensen and he tucks it deep inside of one of his many bags before heading to the food court.

  


  
**  
~~~~~~~~~<>~~~~~~~~   
**   


Jared’s been scouting around for over half an hour looking at everything, imploring perky young clerks to help him find something but it’s like one long dead end.

He thinks about a CD but he can just download everything onto his iPod so that’s a lousy idea.

Cheeky Cufflinks of a black Chevy Impala, but where would he wear them or would he wear them, moving on.

A t-shirt with Jared’s picture on it, he thinks about this one for a bit. Even studies himself in the t-shirt shaped mirror on the booth pole and then decides against it.

He’s looking at the Hillshire farms goodies and eating a few free samples while he chats up the sales lady about what petite fours are when someone grabs his hand and starts to massage it with lotion. He looks at them irritated and yanks his hand away. “Excuse me,” he shoots out at her.

“Smooth hands, nice manicure,” Jared cuts her off.

“You know you shouldn’t grab people’s hands like that,” he turns away from her and back to the Hillshire farm’s lady.

He looks back at her as she walks away and that is when he notices it, the perfect gift. He excuses himself and goes over to the booth and stares down into the case at a camera shaped medallion that says you are a Star.

“Excuse me,” he calls to the sales person.

“Yes sir?”

“I would like this, right here,” he points to the item.

“Nice choice sir, what would you like written on it?”

“How about, you are my superstar.”

The man goes off and inscribes it and brings it back.

Jared pays for it and has it boxed and wrapped. He looks at his watch and it’s just a few minutes until he’s to meet Jensen at the food court. He can’t walk up there with a bag marked Things Remembered so as he passes the Crystal’s sex toy shop he figures what the hell, he’ll still get Misha a gift. He runs in and buys the dildo with voice capabilities. He drops Jensen’s gift inside of the Crystal’s bag to hide it and goes up to meet Jensen.

It’s the last filming day and they wrap early to have their little on set party and exchange gifts.

When Jensen walks up to Jared with the little box in his hand Jared looks at him confused. “Sera is over there,” he points at her.

“I have a confession to make; I got you Jared, not Sera.”

Jared starts to laugh and claps Jensen on the shoulder. “I didn’t get Misha either, I got you,” he’s laughing so hard he can barely stand it.

Jensen starts to laugh with him. “What are the odds,” he’s almost doubled over.

They sit down at one of the holiday decorated tables.

Jensen holds out his box to Jared. “It’s small but I know you’ll like it.”

Jared hands Jensen his box. “Actually it’s the same deal for you. Hope you like it babe.”

They respectively unwrap each others gifts and give each other a strange glance when they see the box says Things Remembered on the top.

“You didn’t,” Jensen says.

“I might have,” Jared says.

“How about we open them on three,” Jensen says and Jared agrees.

“1…2….3,” and they both open their boxes to expose the exact same gifts. They start to laugh again.

“I can’t believe this,” Jared says taking his out of the box and reading the inscription. **You are a star.** “I love it,” he says holding it to his heart.

Jensen takes his out and sees it has a variation of the same inscription. **You are my star.** “I love it Jared,” he actually has tears in his eyes. “You know I’m your star,” he leans forward and kisses Jared lightly on the lips. Jared returns the kiss.

Misha runs over with a sprig of mistletoe and holds it over their heads and starts to chant. “Kiss, Kiss, Kiss.” Jensen blushes but gives Jared a very grateful kiss.

Misha is walking away when Jared jumps up and hands him a box. “Hey man, I got you something. I know I’m not your secret Santa but, Merry Christmas,” he gives him a hug.

“Thanks man but I don’t have anything for you,” he looks at the box and starts to open it.

“It’s okay no worries. But wait until you get home, I don’t want anyone feeling slighted that I didn’t get them an extra gift,” Jared says stopping Misha’s hand from ripping the paper any more.

“Oh okay, yeah I get it. No favoritism,” he walks away with the gift tucked under the trench coat.

Jensen looks at Jared and gives him a lifted eyebrow. “That wasn’t what I think it was, is it?”

Jared’s giving him a wide innocent smile. “Of course it is,” he breaks out into a full out laugh.

“Jared, what did you put on the voice recorder,” Jensen feigns shock.

“Oh, just some moaning and then I started to scream Castiel you do it so good baby, yeah flap those wings,” he’s bent over with a full on uncontrollable laugh.

Jensen shakes his head. “You know there will be payback don’t you?”

“I would expect nothing less.”

Jensen kisses Jared again and holds his gift tight in his hand. “I love you so much,” he says snuggling into Jared’s arm that is wrapped around his waist.

Misha waves at Jared as they are leaving the party and points to his trench coat and gives him a thumbs up. Jared smiles and nods at him and gives him a wink in return.

Later Misha’s in his car getting ready to leave the lot when he decides to open his gift from Jared. He rips the paper open and exposes a plain brown box; he opens it and pulls out a large pink bullet shaped dildo. He’s examining it and sort of getting a kick out of it when his thumb hits a button on the bottom. It starts to moan and squeal. He’s frantically trying to shut it off as it vibrates and makes lewd lascivious noises at top volume when it starts to scream _Fuck me Castiel, fuck me like the angel of the Lord that you are, beat me with your mighty wings._ Then Jared’s voice comes clear and he’s laughing when he says, Wishing you and your anus a very Masturbatory Christmas and happy Horny days.”

Misha screams at the top of his lungs. **“JARED, YOU’LL PAY FOR THIS!!!!”**

 **The End!**


End file.
